Well, I have pretty well accepted that I will never be able to do the job I really want to do-instructional technology in a deaf school. But there is a part of me that still hopes I think. When I got my weekly information list that includes job postings from deafed.net I found myself looking for a technology job. Found a cool one in software development with Vcom but it is only temporary and in Florida. No good but it would have been fun.
Then just for the heck of it I looked at Gallaudet's website for an Ed Tech job there. Lo and behold, they finally posted one. (Two really-one full time and one temporary) Now I don't know what to do. Should I apply? or not? There are many drawbacks-my son would need to find services ASAP (and probably not very likely to happen,) I would have to find something to do with my mother, and I would have to sell my house. All before school starts. Not likely!
Also, I would feel a lot of pressure to live up to my predecessor and my internship supervisor who is at the elementary school. I have this terrible fear that if I did have the job that I would not be able to do it-that I would be lousy at it. I also have a fear of leaving my comfort zone and going someplace new. What if I didn't like it? My bridges would be burned behind me and I would be stuck there.
I started filling out an application-my friends are encouraging me. I don't think they will be able to pay enough-it is very expensive to live there too. But I'm sending it in anyway and asking for at least as much as I made last year. Sure to prevent them from hiring me. If this is meant to be God will have to really work things out.
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